You are simply not alone

Love Loneliness Syndrome (LLS), you are simply not alone on this.

You are not just alone in this worry of loneliness, everybody around you are asking you when will you marry? Each year when you celebrate your birthday, 70 percent of the prayers and wishes you get are based on “by this time next year you will be celebrated and it shall be in your husband house”.

Everyday passes without a sign of a beau anywhere round the corner and are you begin to search your mind if you have done anything wrong to anybody or your ancestors are against you or maybe you’re not just destined to find love. You mother will also let you realize is not good for a lady to be to choosy, every time people see you in friends’ wedding aso ebi they will pray for you that "laipe laijina ti e naa de" -sooner than expected yours shall be the next”.

My gal you are not alone in this because thousand of young women around the globe are in this club of sans beaus especially in Nigeria where marriage is seen as a pride and societal insurance for women, many young women of marriageable age are also going through heartbreaks, loneliness and no man to call their sweetheart or babies. You must learn to enjoy your spinsterhood while it last without losing your values and your integrity.

My sister, I will simply suggest that you look beyond your loneliness and brace up so that you prepare yourself to be a better wife material that any man who deserves a queen will die to have you because you can be generational changer that will inspire if not everyone at least your child(ren) unborn, what all my grammar is simply telling you is that add consideration amount of value to your person.

You think why is she sounding like a counselor or a motivator, maybe I should let you know that I was also jilted close to marriage in a relationship of five years, I had my own fair share of lonely moments which after some months I had to figure out what I needed to do to in order to hold my head up in bracing up to the challenges. So I faced the monster called Love Loneliness Syndrome (LLS).

It was a journey that I lived with for more than 4years, when I looked back to that path I keep asking myself how and how do I coped without landing in a psycho home. Whoever tells you that is a smooth race on a smooth path is probably not telling you an honest truth.

At this moment, self pity will naturally sets in and it's energy sapping that no human being needs because being rejected by people you loved are not 100 percent your fault, every being human deserves to be happy on earth I guess that’s what God destined for His creatures especially people who have lost loved ones through death or rejection.

You need to take a break and stop blaming yourself for this rough journey you are threading, take a holistic look and come up with a strategy which will makes you not hold on to your past to destroy your bright future. Look at you past critical so that it can help leapfrog you to your desired future.

 Below are some of the techniques which have helped to redefine and reshape personae for my desire new future, it maybe good and helpful if your try some of these techniques. All of them might not work for you but be rest assured that at least one or two of these will, all you need to do is to tailor it to your situation.

1.       Get a job because if you’re out of job you are like a prisoner confined to a four wall of a room with no control of her own life and destiny.

2.       Further your education, it is generally accepted that education is a sunlight and ray of hope to a dark vision.

3.       Travel because if you enjoy seeing nature at its best just like me, you will see how nature can charm you and bring you back from your lost hope. Also travelling make you see the other side of life and you will probably thank God for the gift of life which alone is worth more than any love that can be given by any human being. 

4.       Follow an intensive physical improvement plan, do exercise and release the tension. Believe it or not your tension level has risen beyond imagination and you need to release them so that you do not go down beyond your crashed level now.

5.       Read more and keep yourself better informed, knowledge is power and it keeps your at an advantage vintage position that add class to your panache.

6.       Seek psychological counseling if need be it might in your church, synagogue, monastery  and mosque or from professional psychologist because they are most like more experienced than you are and with bank of knowledge you most likely cannot go wrong if yield to their valuable advice. 

7.       Make new friends from both sexes, true friends are worth more than diamond or platinum. They are very valuable, trust me no money can buy them because they will always be there for you.

8.       Rediscover your talents, those thing you’ve always loved to do or thing that you wished when you have the time that you will do. This is the time to channel your energy back into them so that you can become a better person and much better at them.

9.       Become a volunteer, there is happiness when you help other especially does who do not have. When you give unconditional love to people who cannot afford to pay you back in cash or kind, it gives the givers piece of mind which is what you currently need. 

10.   Remember the house of worship of your choice, the word of God is ever soothing and they are balm you need to help you heal your broken heart. 

11.   Love as if you’re never being hurt, one day it will surely pay off but be firm so as not to exchange love for your body because it can be very tricky and when you loss at both end it can suicidal most time.

12.   Love God unconditional because He is the only one that can give you agape love, just leave your life for God you can never underestimate the soothing and healing power of God.

13.   My beloved gal, create you own happiness because you deserve to be happy. Any man that doesn’t merit you to have you as a queen does not deserve to make you cry.

 

With much love from this end, my gal your man and prince charming is around the corner just be very vigilant, take things easy and be calm. I can only say I can’t wait to have your wedding invitation, congratulations in advance!