Ideal Muslimah

My second book for this month is titled “The Ideal Muslimah”

“Ideal according to Webster dictionary is defined as a mental conception regarded as a standard of perfection; a model of excellence, beauty, etc, Muslimah in Arabic is Muslim Woman”. From this I know that the title will be more meaningful to my non-Muslim readers.

The book is authored by Dr. Muhammad Ali-al-Hashimi, it was originally written in Arabic and was later translated to English by Nasirudin al-Khattab.

It’s a 534 pages book with 10 thought striking chapters. The book is written in simple English that can be easily understood by any class of literates, it has Arabic worlds used in some part but the good thing is that the meanings were later given at the end of the book’s chapters.

      The following topics were treated in it:      

1.      The Muslim woman and her Lord

2.      The Muslim woman and her own self

3.      The Muslim woman and her parents

4.      The Muslim woman and her husband

5.      The Muslim woman and her children

6.      The Muslim woman and her sons and daughter-in-laws

7.      The Muslim woman and her relatives

8.      The Muslim woman and neighbours

9.      The Muslim woman and her friends and sisters in Islam

10.  The Muslim woman and her community or society

What more areas of our lives were not touched in here? Honestly I can’t think of any for now.

 For any serious Muslim wife and bride to be, this is a kind of bye law that you must get to support your knowledge of the Quran and Hadith of the prophet in your journey to womanhood.

Not until I read Ideal Muslimah that I realized what Islam stands for and the role of women in this contemporary age. Just read these, I ‘m sure you will be amazed at the level of civilization in the religion we all think is backward in modern times…….

Her body

Moderation in food and drink, “eat and drink: but waste not the excess, for Allah loves not the waster.”  -page 128

She takes care of her mouth, teeth and her hair.

The intelligent Muslim woman takes care of her mouth, for no one should ever have to smell an unpleasant odour coming out of it. She checks her teeth and visits the dentist at least once a year. –page 133 

Narrated by Abu Hurayah that Allah messenger said “whoever has hair, let him look after it properly.” -Page 135

She exercise regularly

“The Muslim woman does not forget to maintain her physical fitness and energy by following healthy practice recommended by Islam.” –page 129

Good appearance

She presents herself a pleasant appearance to her husband, children, muhram relatives and other Muslim women and people feel comfortable with her. She does not put them off with an ugly and untidy appearance.

Who has forbidden the beautiful (gift) of Allah, which He has produced for His servants, and the things, cleans and pure, (which He has provided for sustenance?,,,,, (Quran 7: 32)

She never stops reading and studying

The Muslim woman does not let her household duties and the burdens of motherhood prevent her from reading widely, because she understands that reading is the source which will supply her mind with nourishment and knowledge which it needs in order to flourish and grow.” -Page 153

She sits wherever she finds room in a gathering

A refined Muslim woman does not force her way through the group of women who are sitting, or push them aside in order to force them to make a space for her. This is in accordance with the teaching of the prophet (SAW) which he taught his companions to adopt when they joined his gathering.

Jabir ibn Samurah said, “When we came to the prophet, we would sit wherever we found room –page 406.

The volume might want to discourage you especially those who are not ardent readers but trust me I’m sure after the first few pages you’ll not want to drop it until the last page.  Guess what? It might be a survival guide for people like me, it can also be giving as gift for any Muslim bride or family you love.

Every woman should have this in her library.  if  you don’t have one, please start building it because you will be amaze at the level you will get within a year.

I’m sure some people might be asking if I’m bias about my reading or if I only read Islamic books, but wait a minute I read all sort of books ranging from biography, autobiography, parenting, gardening, cooking, management and etiquette building, I mean any book that caught my imagination and fascination. 

To my other folks from other religion I will read Christian marital books soon just stay glue and constantly check on my reviews on the page. A la prochaine!

You are simply not alone

Love Loneliness Syndrome (LLS), you are simply not alone on this.

You are not just alone in this worry of loneliness, everybody around you are asking you when will you marry? Each year when you celebrate your birthday, 70 percent of the prayers and wishes you get are based on “by this time next year you will be celebrated and it shall be in your husband house”.

Everyday passes without a sign of a beau anywhere round the corner and are you begin to search your mind if you have done anything wrong to anybody or your ancestors are against you or maybe you’re not just destined to find love. You mother will also let you realize is not good for a lady to be to choosy, every time people see you in friends’ wedding aso ebi they will pray for you that "laipe laijina ti e naa de" -sooner than expected yours shall be the next”.

My gal you are not alone in this because thousand of young women around the globe are in this club of sans beaus especially in Nigeria where marriage is seen as a pride and societal insurance for women, many young women of marriageable age are also going through heartbreaks, loneliness and no man to call their sweetheart or babies. You must learn to enjoy your spinsterhood while it last without losing your values and your integrity.

My sister, I will simply suggest that you look beyond your loneliness and brace up so that you prepare yourself to be a better wife material that any man who deserves a queen will die to have you because you can be generational changer that will inspire if not everyone at least your child(ren) unborn, what all my grammar is simply telling you is that add consideration amount of value to your person.

You think why is she sounding like a counselor or a motivator, maybe I should let you know that I was also jilted close to marriage in a relationship of five years, I had my own fair share of lonely moments which after some months I had to figure out what I needed to do to in order to hold my head up in bracing up to the challenges. So I faced the monster called Love Loneliness Syndrome (LLS).

It was a journey that I lived with for more than 4years, when I looked back to that path I keep asking myself how and how do I coped without landing in a psycho home. Whoever tells you that is a smooth race on a smooth path is probably not telling you an honest truth.

At this moment, self pity will naturally sets in and it's energy sapping that no human being needs because being rejected by people you loved are not 100 percent your fault, every being human deserves to be happy on earth I guess that’s what God destined for His creatures especially people who have lost loved ones through death or rejection.

You need to take a break and stop blaming yourself for this rough journey you are threading, take a holistic look and come up with a strategy which will makes you not hold on to your past to destroy your bright future. Look at you past critical so that it can help leapfrog you to your desired future.

 Below are some of the techniques which have helped to redefine and reshape personae for my desire new future, it maybe good and helpful if your try some of these techniques. All of them might not work for you but be rest assured that at least one or two of these will, all you need to do is to tailor it to your situation.

1.       Get a job because if you’re out of job you are like a prisoner confined to a four wall of a room with no control of her own life and destiny.

2.       Further your education, it is generally accepted that education is a sunlight and ray of hope to a dark vision.

3.       Travel because if you enjoy seeing nature at its best just like me, you will see how nature can charm you and bring you back from your lost hope. Also travelling make you see the other side of life and you will probably thank God for the gift of life which alone is worth more than any love that can be given by any human being. 

4.       Follow an intensive physical improvement plan, do exercise and release the tension. Believe it or not your tension level has risen beyond imagination and you need to release them so that you do not go down beyond your crashed level now.

5.       Read more and keep yourself better informed, knowledge is power and it keeps your at an advantage vintage position that add class to your panache.

6.       Seek psychological counseling if need be it might in your church, synagogue, monastery  and mosque or from professional psychologist because they are most like more experienced than you are and with bank of knowledge you most likely cannot go wrong if yield to their valuable advice. 

7.       Make new friends from both sexes, true friends are worth more than diamond or platinum. They are very valuable, trust me no money can buy them because they will always be there for you.

8.       Rediscover your talents, those thing you’ve always loved to do or thing that you wished when you have the time that you will do. This is the time to channel your energy back into them so that you can become a better person and much better at them.

9.       Become a volunteer, there is happiness when you help other especially does who do not have. When you give unconditional love to people who cannot afford to pay you back in cash or kind, it gives the givers piece of mind which is what you currently need. 

10.   Remember the house of worship of your choice, the word of God is ever soothing and they are balm you need to help you heal your broken heart. 

11.   Love as if you’re never being hurt, one day it will surely pay off but be firm so as not to exchange love for your body because it can be very tricky and when you loss at both end it can suicidal most time.

12.   Love God unconditional because He is the only one that can give you agape love, just leave your life for God you can never underestimate the soothing and healing power of God.

13.   My beloved gal, create you own happiness because you deserve to be happy. Any man that doesn’t merit you to have you as a queen does not deserve to make you cry.

 

With much love from this end, my gal your man and prince charming is around the corner just be very vigilant, take things easy and be calm. I can only say I can’t wait to have your wedding invitation, congratulations in advance!

Special tribute to Ambassador of Peace

This month I've decided to read two books. I'm doing this to honour a man I've seen for over two decades on Nigerian television without any scandal (I guess our today's stars must learn a lesson from this great man). Ambassador Chief Segun Olushola, mni,OFR, was a man of many parts, he was a teacher, an actor, a director,  an ambassador and a humanitarian. He meant different things to so many people.

For my parents' contemporaries who watched him emerge as an actor, director and producer of class, they have a lot to say about his artistic panache and the roles he played in the rested popular soap opera The Village Headmaster aired n NTA in the 80’s. For me and some of my contemporaries, we can confidently say that he was an advocate of African refugees.

                                                        He was the founder of African Refugees Foundation- AREF.

The book titled “Segun Olushola The Real Village Headmaster” was given to me by the author -Mr Akin Iroko who I worked with briefly, he was a consultant on a DFID program of which my organization was a benefactor. Ambassador Olusegun on the other hand was the honourary president of my organization. Mr. Iroko gladly gave me a complimentary copy of the book for my library.

The book has 10 chapters and 131pages. It touched on the following areas, his early beginning, his career, the zenith of his life, his ambassadorial sojourn to Ethiopia, his achievements as a diplomat, his philanthropic service to African Refugees which led to the establishment of AREF.

The book also touched on his family life, his marriage to Elsie Olusola (Sisi Clara) the screen goddess of The Village Headmaster, their children, her death, his remarriage to his first girlfriend after the demise of Elsie and his adopted children. The history of television in Nigeria’s post-independent era was also not left out.

 There were so many memorable areas that I love in the book, but I will share two of those parts I cherished.

 On page 106, he said, “A culture of peace must begin with a deliberate educational project that would inculcate the primary values of democracy at the grassroots. This is a confirmation of a level of ignorance at the grassroots which only education can cure.”

 Chief Olushola delivering a public lecture on Akin Iroko’s fiftieth birthday on the subject of coping with culture, communication and change said:

“In order to confront the problems of the year 2000 – Nigerians must construct a culture of social, culture science and material technology based on the tradition of the past…..

 The BBC is not iron or steel-

  It is people and ideas
  It is doing so very well for Britain
  It cannot do as well for Nigeria
  It is capable of harming Nigeria
  The English Language is not neutral-
  It possesses an inherent bias against the Nigerian people
  It is a burden which must be tolerated, not accepted
  Wherever goes the wig and gown-
  There goes the coat and tie
  -and the only way is out.
  For none of these are simply functional –
  And all of them are symbols-
  Communication and culture reminders of
  Nigeria’s painful past.
  In the tradition of one of Nigeria’s illustrious ancestors, they are boycottable and should be     boycotted….
  So Nigeria is not an island.
  It is as well that Nigeria is not a refuse dump.

 If the youth and youthful must dance disco, let them create the music from the traditions of Bata-koto, Atilogwu and ata dabai, and other varieties of musical idioms.

Coping with culture, communication and change without creativity is being a passenger.”

 As I finished typing this speech, I couldn’t but wonder how big Ambassador’s creativity repertoire was.

 Mrs. Ibidun Allison (Amebo of The village Headmaster) just gave me my answer, when she described Chief Segun Olushola in this book as “reliable and talented in every field”.

On this note, I join many of his numerous fans across the world to say that he will be truly missed and the thought of finding another Olusola brought William Shakesphere to my mind “ All the world is a stage and all men are merely players…”

 For sure I know, I will read this book all over again.

Ajanaka, Ambassador of PEACE

I am a Yoruba girl and proud of my people, culture and Language. we are general known for our powerful use of words. Ajanaku in yoruba is known as an Elephant, according to a popular adage in my tribe that says "Ajanaku kooja mo ri kan firi taba rerin kala rerin’’ -The passing by of an elephant(Ajanaku) is beyond something not to be noticed, if you see an elephant simply acknowledge it's an  elephant.

I asked myself how do you qualify this great man who he is a man you can't just but notice especially in the areas of lives he touched.

From acting, to producing, to peace mission and refugees advocacy.

Ambassador Chief Segun Olusola, was committed to mother earth recently. As I remember this great man, I know he had left an artistic legacy that no one can fill in Nigeria.

In a tribute to Chief Olushola by Steve James of Dance Guild of Nigeria (GOND), he said "As an actor, he played so many roles on this physical stage called world. As a father, he fathered all that came across him. As a driver, he drove many peoples' dreams and visions to fruition. As a sculptor, he carved so many destines from designations to destinations. As a playwright, he wrote numerous names and curriculum vitae of many artistes in gold. Finally, as a dancer, he danced gracefully with kings, for kings and like a king".

We'll miss the man that carried his irukere gracefully.

Erin wo......... ......The elephant succumbs
Ajanaku sun bi oke..... and slumbers like a mountain

Ambassador of peace rest in peace!